Toileteas Papyrus (TP) Barnum, was born August 26, 19somethingsomething to John and LooLoo Barnum in Green Bay, Wisconsin. TP is the Great Great Grandson to the World Famous PT Barnum, who coined the phrase "There's a sucker born every minute". Green Bay, famous for it's Green Bay Packers (Go Pack Go) is also known as the Toilet Paper Capital of the World. America's Dairyland is the nation's No. 1 toilet paper manufacturer, rolling out $13.8 billion in products annually and employing 30,000 people.

His Early Years

When TP was a little stinker, his dad would bring home extra soft rolls of TP from the factory for him and his friends to play with. Even though they thought TP was a little square and he was the butt of many jokes, they still would make all kinds of toys from the TP. He and his friends once built a treehouse and were the only ones in the state to having an actual working crapper.

On this 10th birthday, he requested a special Toilet Paper Cake. No, it was not actually made out of toilet paper, silly. But it still looked cool and tasted delicious.

Toilet Paper in his Blood

When TP was only 18, he was employed at the local Toilet Paper Factory ShitBeGone. He worked his way thru the pipe line doing all kinds of crap jobs and eventually worked his way up and became the factories main toilet paper tester. He would spend hours and hours on the test toilet ensure the quality.

Marriage and Children

TP married his high school sweet heart Pooppy in a church on the rolling his of Menasha. After the honeymoon, he was said to have looked flushed in the face and wiped out. Shortly after, the Barnum's rolled out two kids - Rolly and Logan.

The Greatest Giveaway

As TP got older, he decided to follow in his grandfather's footsteps and create one of the Greatest Giveaways on Earth, known today as the Toilet Paper Giveaway. He continues to spread joy and wipe tears from eyes.

The End